apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Congratulations! We have a period
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