id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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