It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
