Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
love makes seman taste better
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
