Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
