if only i could text you this smell
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
