my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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