ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
