i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
