I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
