what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
