I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
