you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
