Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
