I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
