FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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