Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
