he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
