just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
