ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
tell me about the eggs
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