how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
