marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
