Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
