I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
