...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
