the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
ok first of all what the fuck
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