She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
