exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Pants are for mortals
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
