dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
