this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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