I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize
