I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize