So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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