we have officially lost it.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
