yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
