ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
