Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My feet surprised me
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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