Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize