I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
