Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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