I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
