therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
