You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
