It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
