passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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