considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
