I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
