READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize