Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
