If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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