there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
