Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
