Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
