he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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