Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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