he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
