Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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