i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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