Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
