Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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