Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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