I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
