His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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